For 12 years I was a practicing evangelical Christian. But in the spring of 2015 my faith began unraveling, until all that was left was a mess of loose ends, like the tattered remains of a frayed ribbon. I oftentimes find myself shooting out random prayers still, mostly in my head but even out loud … Continue reading Ye of little faith..
What if tomorrow I woke up as a boy? Would all my dreams come true? Would life suddenly and for the first time make sense? Or would I feel just as lost, confused, alone as I've always felt being told that I'm a girl? For the last few weeks I've been pondering these questions. I … Continue reading What if tomorrow I woke up as a boy…
Over the last few weeks, K and I shared some LDR firsts. Our first time flying together ☺️ Heading to Canada 🇨🇦 The first time K met my littles Our first Valentines Day, which began with our first hotel stay together 😏😁 This past week, we've endured another first. Our first fight 😤😢 I read … Continue reading LDR Firsts
Fear. What is fear? Here's a definition of fear - an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Being on the fence - If you're on the fence, you can't decide something. You're torn between two options. I think I'm on the fence … Continue reading Fear is Keeping me on the Fence
I flew out of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada on Tuesday January 30, 2018 at 9:25 am. My day consisted of flights from Edmonton to Calgary to Houston and finally to Mobile, Alabama! Flying into Calgary, AB Taking a rest in Houston, TX. I had a 3.5 hour layover here. Finally coming into Mobile, AL at 10:10 … Continue reading January/February 2018 Trip – Week One
So here's the thing, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I have zero desire to be seen as a cis man. But damn if that's not hard some days. I mean super effen exhausting and dysphoria inducing. Because I don't have the need to pass as a cis man, I have to … Continue reading “Passing” – The Epic Trans Struggle
A friend sent me this song the other day and a couple of lines resonated with me, especially when it comes to my gender. https://youtu.be/UVb8OJEQGIQ I don't wanna spend my life Trying to fight for what's not mine I don't wanna lose myself In someone else's dream These lines make me think of hormones and … Continue reading Someone Else’s Dream
I started a new job this week and I'm loving it. Just getting out of the house and making my own money feels amazing. But even better than that, my direct supervisor is a transman! The company I'm working for takes great pride in supporting LGBTQ people. Every person I met this week has been … Continue reading It’s Time to Destroy the Binary
I recently wrote a post A Look Back at Our Year, chronicling mine and K's relationship over 2017. It got me pondering my relationship with myself over the last year and so here's my account of that. I started January 2017 ecstatic that I was finally living as an out, gay, proud woman. And now … Continue reading 3 Truths I’ve Learnt this Year
Today's post is a guest post. One that I can relate to in some ways and in other ways not at all. I am not yet ready to share my own experiences with suicide. I commend Madison for her bravery and willingness to publish her story for others. So. Today I am three years clean. … Continue reading Three years clean.