For years I’ve wanted to shave my head. When I was 15 my friend and I gave each other undercuts and from that moment on I wanted to shave it all off. Of course I could never do anything so bold. I was a wallflower and I liked it that way. But every once in a while I envied the people who did everything they could to stand out and be noticed. It wasn’t the fact that they wanted to be seen that intrigued me, but the idea that they didn’t care one bit what anyone else thought. That’s how I’ve always longed to live my life. But I just never had the guts.
A year ago I began a journey of transformation. It started with moving to the city which gave me the freedom to care less about what people thought because I was surrounded by strangers. Every time I went to the store, I didn’t run into a single person I knew or even recognized from the time before. Day by day I grew stronger and braver and slowly started becoming my true self. I was gradually making changes so that my outward appearance lined up with who I was on the inside. My wardrobe shifted from feminine to more neutral to quite masculine. My closet is no longer full of a stranger’s clothes, but rather it has only the items I love to wear and feel most authentic in! In may 2017 I cut my long hair and step by step it finally matched who I was.
Yesterday I made the leap and shaved it off completely!!
I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to think once it was done, or how I would feel. So far, I can say that I like the way it looks more than I expected to. I wasn’t overwhelmed with a feeling of liberation like I’ve heard others speak of. When I look in the mirror I simply have a feeling of familiarity. I see my reflection and think “there you are, I finally see you” Another piece of myself has surfaced, no longer needing to hide.
Here’s my head shave video! Enjoy 😊