I saw this post the other day on Facebook and it took all the strength I had not to sob. This picture, which is an excerpt taken from a larger comic about a trans boy, is the perfect depiction of my sweet preschooler Beckett.
The person who shared this post captioned it with the words “and there I was left standing in the middle” I wrote a previous post about my child and their heart wrenching words about the loneliness of the middle.
Being the parent of a non-binary child is hard somedays. Being a parent period is no cakewalk let’s be honest! A little over a year ago, when Beckett was 3, they started regendering themselves. They very much picked the other end of the spectrum at that time. Although this had its difficulties for them and our family, we went with the flow. It was easy for Beckett to pass as the opposite gender. No one questioned their gender. No one questioned anything. Life was good for Beckett. But soon they started to realize that the other end of the spectrum didn’t fit for them either and they came to a place where they could clearly understand and say that they are in the middle. They aren’t a boy, they aren’t a girl, they are just Beckett in the middle. Some days their expression is much more feminine, other days it’s much more masculine, most days it’s very genderless.
Now Beckett is 4 years old and already life is getting hard. They can’t go to the park anymore without kids asking if they’re a boy or a girl. They are often told by other people, kids but also adults, that they have to choose. That the middle doesn’t exist. That the middle isn’t an option. But for Beck it’s the only option. I know that for the most part people just don’t understand but either does my 4 year old who at such a tender age has to be one of the brave ones who will teach this world that they are just a sweet, sometimes very cheeky, but definitely not scary, kid. They are just a kid 💚